Fruita 50

Coming into the Fruita 50 miler I had a very lofty goal of finishing in 10 hours or less. I thought this was doable being that I finished Leadville in about 10:40, and was bringing in much more experience to this race. The course was a 25 mile loop, done twice in opposing directions. There was 4000 feet of climbing on each lap with equaldescent. So this would mean I would hit the start/finish area twice. I went out with the 2nd or 3rd chase pack at a strong clip. Made the first 7.5 miles in around 1:05 and kept pushing up the ensuing climbs. I felt great, ran strong and pulled into mile 13 or so at about 2:16 or 2:20, on pace for a sub 9 hour finish (way too fast). I eased back a bit and focused on my form and trying to stay as relaxed as possible and make sure to eat/drin enough. I came into the mile 19.5 aid station still on track and still feeling great, i pushed the final climb and came down into start/finish area in just over 5 hours. I was a bit behind schedule but i thought I could possibly make it up. I got to see Stacy and Ethan at the turn around, Stacy is at everyone of my ultras and is a huge factor in all of my finishes. I made small talk, grabbed some more food and water and some E caps. Started making my way back, and was in about 20th or so place at this point? I knew there about 80 that started and saw about 20 people in front of me on my way out. I felt great still, but now the sun started to really come out. This course has pretty much zero tree cover from the elements, it might have only been 70-80 degrees, but it was the exposure that really sucked. I started to see this 10 hour goal go out the window as my pace began to slow pretty badly. I made it to mile 30 in desperate need of a bathroom. Instead i got some cookies, pizzas and paper towels. I will spare you the following details....Now that being done, I could get back to running...sorta. Back out onto the rock ridge we got an amazing view of the Colorado river 1000 feet below us, man that looked like a tempting jump into the refreshing water. The sun was in full effect, and torturing me. The sun grabbed at me like 1000 rusty fishing hooks. My pace slowed to a walk. My energy was depleted as for I forgot to eat for a while. I was beginning to doze off in my walk, tripping and falling a few times. Thankfully I had enough minfullness not to walk off the cliff edge. Im at mile 33 with 19 to go(found out the loops were 26 miles each). I looked behind me and saw a person maybe 3 minutes behind. My pace was getting slower and slower with each step, kidneys were throbbing with each breath. I turned back to see the man has dissapprered, mirage or not i was sure that i was in dead last place. The phrase Did Not Finish became a painful reality for me. I stopped, and sat on a rock. I began my self talk, which involves digging into my inner New Yorker and yelling at myself for being such a pansy. "Rob..whats wrong with you?", "Why are you being such a wimp right now?. I took my entire bottle of water and threw it in my face and followed it with "ROB WAKE THE F%&K UP AND GET YOUR DAMN HEAD IN THE GAME". I threw out all my goals, went into survival mode and just wanted to finish this beast. I had to dig deeper than ever to muster enough houdzpah to keep moving.

    On the move again, someone popped from behind the rocks and almost caused me to jump. It was someone close to my age and in the same race. We started walking together and chatting. It was his first 50 miler and was feeling pretty crappy as well. I am a very much a loner when it comes to running, but the company was good. I decided to pay it forward and help this guy out so he too could say he finished a 50. I said "ok man, lets do a 5 minutes run". We ran for 10 and started hiking a bit. The conversing started to subside some of the pain in my body. Mind distacted, and could finally get back to the race. We stayed together as for i told him "were going to finish this dude". I said dead last is better than qutting. I stared down at my watch to a terrilbe surprise, we had about 90 minutes to finish. We were approaching the final climb which was very, very very steep. We had spurts of running and hiking up the final climb but he began to fall behind. I tried my best to push him to the top, but at the same time this was MY race and needed to finish myself. I told him im going to run the rest whether or not it kills me and he can come or not. He just said "do what you need man, i would have never made it this far if it wasnt for you". I started running and he didnt, i yelled back "whatever you do, DONT STOP MOVING". I pushed the final .5 mile of the climb and began the descent. Time check, 45 minutes to finish. Body check, pain, near vomiting, dehydrated and begging for a way to finish. Mind check, completely detached. I was relying completely on grit at this point to make it to the finish line. The descent beat the shit out of my entire body, but i kept moving. Just put one foot in front of the other, thats all you can do right? FINALLY i saw a person, and they told me 1 mile to the finish. Then I saw Cat and she gave me a few hoots and hollers and really pumpd me up. I came to a gate...locked. Seriously? Wonderful park rangers decided to call it a day i guess. I shook and pulled, no luck. My clumsy, tired ass could not climb.  I decided to go Chuck Norris and kick it down instead...woops:). I began a final charge to the finish...i thought. I actually started heading BACK out onto the course in the other direction before Cat thankfully caught me and told me to turn around. I dont know where this burst of energy came from, from Cats amazing, inspiring demeanor...from the thought of finishing...or my supportive friends at the finish, it was everything. I ran that last mile with whatever I had left and crossed the finish line. The second marathon took me nearly 8 hours. I came to find out I was 5th to last, but less than 40 peeople actually finished.

This was a truly amazing race, I had an great time. Yes i put my body through hours and hours of pain. I lost about 8 percent of my body weight, I was sunburnt, kidneys were pulsing with a sharp pain, my feet were swollen, I had massive blisters, i was coughing up something not human, sinus infection was in full effect, couldnt hear out of my right ear...but i was on the other side of the finish line. Thats all that matters in the end. DFL is better then DNF and much better then DNT. Dead Fu$%ing Last is better than Did Not Finish and better than Did Not Try. I let the poisonous thought of quitting come into my mind, but not take over. I understand this was only 52 miles and there are much tougher and longer races around. But today this was my race, and thats all that mattered. The feeling I have right now is failure. Not in the way many of you think though. Failure...my body and mind have absolutely nothing left to give. This failure was the biggest success of my life. I love this sport, the comradere and the people.